Phobia (Painting- "Penny")

"Penny" Oil on Canvas, 18 x 22"

She is deathly afraid of clowns. Once when we were grocery shopping I heard a scream that I had instantly recognized as a sound of terror escaping her lungs. I put all the random labels that I had been reading down and ran protectively from aisle eight to aisle three where her voice reached out. As I turned the aisle I bumped into the culprit. Actually, first into those big clown feet, a dirty yellow dress and sad face painted up to look happy.

"I scared someone." Penny (the clown) said to me.
"Yes, yes, don't worry about it" I replied.
"I'm with her its okay. I'll take care of it."

Penny insisted she apologize. I insisted she didn't. She persisted.

I knew I had to find her first. Get her out of the store. She was scared for her life and in her self-defense I knew the clown would end up hurt.

I wove in and out of the fruit and vegetable stands and back to the corner. Finally, I found her hiding behind the pharmacy counter with the Pharmacist. Holding each other.

He was a gentle, small Filipino man.
"You're getting rob?" He asked.
"No, no" She said.
"A clown, a disguuusting clown"
He interrupted, "Ahhh...I hate tat too. So agly! AGLY!"

I grabbed her hand, "Lets go! Take my hand and look at the floor"
She took my hand all the while mumbling, "so gross, disgusting".

We walked through the automatic door and I told her to go home. "Run, I said!"
She ran.

I walked back into the store and everyone looked confused and worried and everybody directed these looks at me.

Instead of looking back and explaining what happened or defending the situation, I went back to reading the label on the Oreo's package like it mattered. I laughed a little to myself and when I was done I paid for our groceries and walked home so we could make dinner together.

Ironically, while we cooked we listened to a show on public radio about phobias. We remained silent, allowing talk radio to do all the talking about what just happened.